I love God posts! And He's been on my mind more than ever lately. I'll admit it, I have been a bad Christian. My prayer life has been suffering, I haven't been in the Word, I haven't even gone to church all month long. I miss God!! I miss getting excited to read my Bible, I miss fellowship, I miss my ladies Bible Study. Work has been getting in the way which has me evaluating my situation. I sit at my laptop late at night, ticking and tying, making spreadsheets "clear and concise", filling out checklists (oh those darn checklists) and I wonder, what's the point? Is this really God's plan for me? What am I accomplishing? Who am I helping? The clients, well they could care less about my audit work papers. My boss? Maybe. Who really cares?
Then on my drive to work this morning, I break down. I start crying because I didn't see my girls but for a few hours the day before. Crying because I have to work this weekend and will more than likely miss my girls AND my girls night out. Crying because I'm tired, overwhelmed, my house is a mess, I'm hungry and I just can't take it anymore. And it hit me, work wasn't making me happy. But why do I rely on work to make me happy. No job, no person on this earth can provide the joy that the Lord does. Why am I not relying on Him and Him alone for my happiness? So I begin praying, asking God for forgiveness, asking him for guidance, for mercy, for protection, praising him for being God, for loving us, for forgiving us, for reminding us that he is always there. I'm not sure what the future will bring, where my career will head, how on earth I'm going to make up these long nights to my girls but I know that God will guide me. He will open doors as he sees fit. He will give me strength when I am weak. He will bring me unspeakable joy. Only Him.